Here is a rough, rough draft of the first few pages:
My name is Caleb McHale and I absolutely hate the fourth grade. There is nothing good about it. What happened to adding and subtracting? Those were easy. But now, multiplication and division. What the heck?
Don't get me started about recess. Now that we are in the "upper grade", recesses are shorter, and the playground is smaller. What's that about? So disappointing. Those third graders don't realize how good they have it.
This morning started out all wrong. I woke up late, to start off. My mom tried to wake me up, but I stayed up late last night playing a game. I know I'm supposed to go to bed at 9 o'clock, but I was beating my old record and I couldn't stop. I just stayed under my covers and played.
Where was I? Oh yes. I stayed up way too long, so when mom woke me up this morning at 6:15, I just pulled the blankets up over my head and went back to sleep. When I didn't come down for breakfast, Mom sent my big brother up to see what was taking so long. There I was, drooling on my pillow and snoring away.
My brother, Matt, is a total jerk. You know how he woke me up? He shook my bed so bad, I thought we were having an earthquake. I tried to jump out of bed, but my arms and legs were whirling around and got caught in the blanket. I ended up falling on the floor. Right on my butt. Did Matt feel bad or try and help me? Of course not. Jerky Matt thought it was the funniest thing that ever happened. He left the room holding his sides and laughing like a hyena. Jerk.
Did I mention my brother was a jerk?
Once my jerky brother left, I got dressed, but I couldn't find my left shoes. Yes, I said, "shoes". Out of my three pairs of shoes, I could only find three right shoes. I dug under my bed, and couldn't find them. I looked in the closet. Nothing. I finally found it in the bathroom, where I couldn't find my toothbrush. I brushed my hair quickly but I couldn't make the hair on the side of my head stop sticking straight up in the air.
I just gave up and went to the kitchen. My mom was feeding my baby sister, Jenny, some sort of stinky orange goop that smelled like feet.
"Caleb! You are going to miss the bus. I can't drive you today." She shoveled another scoop of gross into Jenny's mouth. "Hurry!"
"What about breakfast?" I asked.
"No time! Grab a banana."
Just great. I really hate bananas. I rather eat the squished orange feet.
I ran out the door, stuffing my banana and my lunch box into my backpack, just in time to see the bus pulling away from the curb. I had to run down the street waving my arms in the air like a crazy person! Lucky for me, the bus driver saw me. Not so lucky for me, so did everyone else in the bus.
Like I said, ROUGH draft. But I am excited.